*************** GREAT OPPORTUNITY *********************** ***** EARN THE BIG BUCKS ******************************** ************** GET A LIFE ******************************* At Lightner Associates we make these dreams a reality for thousands of post-doctoral researchers every year through a patented process known as Ph.D. expungement. For a limited time Lightner Associates is offering our exclusive PH.D. EXPUNGING SERVICE for a special LOW LOW PRICE only to members of Leftist Leaning Underground Electronic Networks of Whiners, Pulers, and others who should be spending more time at the lab bench (L.L.U.E.N.o.W.P.&O. aka YSN, NES). Our BASIC PH.D. EXPUNGING SERVICE includes: -creation of a false employment history at a now defunct biotech or defense contracting firm. -fabrication of business cards for said firm. -our special total"CV" ---> "Resume" re-engineering... ** INCLUDING *** -descriptive job responsibilities which bear some rational relationship to your expertise. -plausible training and professional experiences which explain your computer fluency with MAC, WINDOWS, PCs, UNIX, and your ownership of an RPN calculator. -Our specially trained staff of Human Resource Administrator Impersonators and a 3 month subscription to our "refusal to provide references due to liability" service (Most real employers no longer give references of any meaning because they are afraid to get sued). AND FOR A LIMITED TIME ONLY FOR SUBSCRIBERS OF L.L.U.E.N.o.W.P.&O. :: FREE POWER WORDS !!!! All for the low, low price of $1500.00 US / PH.D. (+ $500 US / year for post-doctoral experience > 3 years. (While this may seem a bit high we've observed that only people who truly want to have their Ph.D. (s) expunged are finally successful and this small token of financial commitment weeds out those who secretly wish to be tenured research professors) Lightner Associates also has a trained staff of psychologists and psychiatrists who for a small additional fee can provide intensive therapeutic services to treat problems like... 1. Independent thinking. 2. Problem Solving and Analytical Skills. 3. Nervousness around beautiful people. 4. Inability to work and play well with others. 5. Pointing out the flaws in others reasoning. 6. Uncontrollable outbursts of laughter when hearing others use POWER WORDS. Our staff can also provide help with problems related to wardrobe and hair-styling (or lack thereof). A REAL LIFE CAN STILL BE YOURS !!! Call Today for a free consultation: 1-555-12NoPHD *************************************************************** FOR ALL YOUR PH.D. EXPUNGING NEEDS REMEMBER... LIGHTNER ASSOCIATES... serving the overqualified since 1996. *************************************************************** ------------------- Source: unknown Internet hero